I say that people should have the common decency to do that kind of embarrassing shit at Disneyworld, or at least in the privacy of their own homes.

Imagine having a few drunken mates round to watch Countdown in 3D. Never going to happen unless Katie Price solves the Countdown Conundrum and tries to snog the cameraman. As I said, never going to happen.

Besides, that’s on Channel 4, and they have no budget for this year, unless they can nab a slice of Film4’s Slumdog profit.

Her mum probably thinks she’s great marriage material.

Snapped from Pratech TV (FTA) at 1 degree West, 12643, vertical.

Shame. Couldn’t resist it though.

3DTV won’t be common in the home for at least a decade, and there is currently no set standard for what might be used to broadcast in 3D, but television nerds are already running tests with various technologies, one of which is currently live via satellite. 3DSwitch.tv are showing off their Sensio3D format broadcast on 9 east, 11747 H 27500. It’s a 4mb/s(!) MPEG4 stream at 1920×1088 and it’s available on both DVB-S and DVB-S2 receivers.

It’s one of the weirdest things you’ll ever see in your life, 3D or not.

(This is the raw sample - it won’t look 3D to you, but you can see how the 3D image is made up! Also available in 720p HD)

Using the Sensio3D format, both left eye and right eye images are transmitted in the same video frame, and the fancy Sensio3D chipset thingit turns them into an image that the 3D shutter glasses can understand, giving you a nice crisp image with a realistic depth. Phew.

But all of this is no good to you, unless you happen to have a 3DTV testing labratory around. Still, us here at SatScene love you, and have converted the Sensio3D format into the good ol’ red and blue glasses format, so that you can get an idea of what 3DTV in high resolutions has to offer with the below video. Don’t say we don’t love you!

(Unfortunately, an amount of depth is lost during the conversion, but you still get a good idea of what’s in store. Watch it in 720 HD, too!)

The commentary for the Chelsea V Juventus game this evening was pants.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when the largest pair of undercrackers on Earth appeared on set for the intro. Even funnier when three Romanians crowded into them to watch the game! What’s wrong with a sofa guys?!

Not that you’re the slightest bit interested, but the channel was CT2 on 1° West - 12687 V 27500 3/4.

“In spite of charging almost £50 a month for a full package of channels, the satellite broadcaster is still signing up new customers at a healthy rate.”

This is even more scary when you realise that large numbers are currently taking up what looks like a very attractive offer for BSkyB’s high-definition service (Sky HD box for £49, free installation and £30 M&S vouchers) - even though this will currently cost them an extra £9.75 a month!

The FT goes on:

“Clearly, the public is willing to pay for distraction from the misery of the slump.”

“Sky must be confident that this trend will continue”, although concerns that BSkyB’s share price (when compared to other media stocks) is now at a 5-year high.

“That puts the uptrend since October in jeopardy. In fact, on a longer-term view, the shares’ multi-year bear market remains intact. This suggests that we may be in for further aggressive downside before too long”

So who’s signing up for this not-so-cheap little luxury? Who can actually afford £60 a month for TV and still pay all other the bills? Are people conning themselves that they’ll be saving money by staying in and staring at the box every night?

Search me!

Not the time to be investing all those ’saved expenses’ in BSkyB shares either, I think.

Live transmission rights to the 138 eligible games (Saturday 3p.m. kickoffs are excluded from the sale to help prop up gate receipts) are divided into six sub-packages, and the European paper-pushers have decreed that no one broadcaster should be allowed to buy the lot.

So to make it fair, Setanta get to show one or two of the games that nobody wants to watch anyway.

The deal will run from next season (2010/11) until 2012/13, when BSkyB will buy them again.

At least the Premier League didn’t have to suffer the indignity of having to sign over the rights to the Walt Disney Company’s sports broadcaster ESPN.

Apparently, they considered a bid, but thought better of it at the last minute. And no, I’m not going to make any comment about their derisory offer being ‘Mickey Mouse’.

Kick off at Old Trafford is at quarter past five. The attached pictures are from the early kick off today between Hartlepool and West Ham, which the Premiership side won comfortably - by two goals.

http://www.joinfreesat.co.uk/index.php/freesat-channels/itv-hd-schedule

So try clicking on these BBC HD images, why don’t you?

If you hold your mouse pointer over the right hand side of the first enlarged image in a post containing multiple images, you can view the whole lot sequentially as a ’set’. Logically, you should also be able to scroll backwards by hovering over the left hand side. And you can!

Do it!

Do it now!

This one pretty much speaks for itself.

Pay particular attention to the Chucky-like Father Christmas character sat in front of her, while you ponder the kind of person who would ring this mad cow to help determine the course of the rest of their life.

I think it’s the cardigan that’s doing it for me.

Or that nice wing-back chair.

Taken from Prima Cz, a Czech channel on 12687 V 27500 3/4 1°W