June 10th, 2009 by BGonaSTICK

Schimbarii she most definitely isn’t.

Her mum probably thinks she’s great marriage material.

Snapped from Pratech TV (FTA) at 1 degree West, 12643, vertical.

Shame. Couldn’t resist it though.

March 14th, 2009 by RocketMBA

3DTV is the futuristic new kid on the block when it comes to cutting edge television technologies, and new 3D setups are appearing at tech shows around the world. Far from the red and blue glasses we wore back in the early ’80s, 3DTV promises realistic images and high definition resolution.

3DTV won’t be common in the home for at least a decade, and there is currently no set standard for what might be used to broadcast in 3D, but television nerds are already running tests with various technologies, one of which is currently live via satellite. 3DSwitch.tv are showing off their Sensio3D format broadcast on 9 east, 11747 H 27500. It’s a 4mb/s(!) MPEG4 stream at 1920×1088 and it’s available on both DVB-S and DVB-S2 receivers.

It’s one of the weirdest things you’ll ever see in your life, 3D or not.

(This is the raw sample - it won’t look 3D to you, but you can see how the 3D image is made up! Also available in 720p HD)

Using the Sensio3D format, both left eye and right eye images are transmitted in the same video frame, and the fancy Sensio3D chipset thingit turns them into an image that the 3D shutter glasses can understand, giving you a nice crisp image with a realistic depth. Phew.

But all of this is no good to you, unless you happen to have a 3DTV testing labratory around. Still, us here at SatScene love you, and have converted the Sensio3D format into the good ol’ red and blue glasses format, so that you can get an idea of what 3DTV in high resolutions has to offer with the below video. Don’t say we don’t love you!

(Unfortunately, an amount of depth is lost during the conversion, but you still get a good idea of what’s in store. Watch it in 720 HD, too!)

February 25th, 2009 by BGonaSTICK

Easy. You just get a very large pair!

The commentary for the Chelsea V Juventus game this evening was pants.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when the largest pair of undercrackers on Earth appeared on set for the intro. Even funnier when three Romanians crowded into them to watch the game! What’s wrong with a sofa guys?!

Not that you’re the slightest bit interested, but the channel was CT2 on 1° West - 12687 V 27500 3/4.

February 19th, 2009 by BGonaSTICK

London’s Financial Times newspaper has published a topical piece on the all-powerful BSkyB, in which it points out that:

“In spite of charging almost £50 a month for a full package of channels, the satellite broadcaster is still signing up new customers at a healthy rate.”

This is even more scary when you realise that large numbers are currently taking up what looks like a very attractive offer for BSkyB’s high-definition service (Sky HD box for £49, free installation and £30 M&S vouchers) - even though this will currently cost them an extra £9.75 a month!

The FT goes on:

“Clearly, the public is willing to pay for distraction from the misery of the slump.”

“Sky must be confident that this trend will continue”, although concerns that BSkyB’s share price (when compared to other media stocks) is now at a 5-year high.

“That puts the uptrend since October in jeopardy. In fact, on a longer-term view, the shares’ multi-year bear market remains intact. This suggests that we may be in for further aggressive downside before too long”

So who’s signing up for this not-so-cheap little luxury? Who can actually afford £60 a month for TV and still pay all other the bills? Are people conning themselves that they’ll be saving money by staying in and staring at the box every night?

Search me!

Not the time to be investing all those ’saved expenses’ in BSkyB shares either, I think.

February 7th, 2009 by BGonaSTICK

Those filthy rich folks at Sky continue to buy up just about whatever they want with the acquisition of the TV rights to five of the six match packages auctioned off by the Premier League.

Live transmission rights to the 138 eligible games (Saturday 3p.m. kickoffs are excluded from the sale to help prop up gate receipts) are divided into six sub-packages, and the European paper-pushers have decreed that no one broadcaster should be allowed to buy the lot.

So to make it fair, Setanta get to show one or two of the games that nobody wants to watch anyway.

The deal will run from next season (2010/11) until 2012/13, when BSkyB will buy them again.

At least the Premier League didn’t have to suffer the indignity of having to sign over the rights to the Walt Disney Company’s sports broadcaster ESPN.

Apparently, they considered a bid, but thought better of it at the last minute. And no, I’m not going to make any comment about their derisory offer being ‘Mickey Mouse’.

January 24th, 2009 by BGonaSTICK

Don’t forget that later today, ITV are showing the FA Cup match between Man Utd and Spurs in high definition.

Kick off at Old Trafford is at quarter past five. The attached pictures are from the early kick off today between Hartlepool and West Ham, which the Premiership side won comfortably - by two goals.

January 3rd, 2009 by RocketMBA

Merry new year, and welcome to 2009! Celebrate it by watching the following shows that are coming up on ITV HD, thanks to a brilliant ITV HD listings page from joinfreesat.co.uk!

http://www.joinfreesat.co.uk/index.php/freesat-channels/itv-hd-schedule

December 17th, 2008 by BGonaSTICK

So try clicking on these BBC HD images, why don’t you?

If you hold your mouse pointer over the right hand side of the first enlarged image in a post containing multiple images, you can view the whole lot sequentially as a ’set’. Logically, you should also be able to scroll backwards by hovering over the left hand side. And you can!

Do it!

Do it now!

December 8th, 2008 by BGonaSTICK

Yet again, satellite TV throws up a horror story all of its own making.

This one pretty much speaks for itself.

Pay particular attention to the Chucky-like Father Christmas character sat in front of her, while you ponder the kind of person who would ring this mad cow to help determine the course of the rest of their life.

I think it’s the cardigan that’s doing it for me.

Or that nice wing-back chair.

Taken from Prima Cz, a Czech channel on 12687 V 27500 3/4 1°W

December 7th, 2008 by BGonaSTICK

Now that we have all of the various flavours of Channel 4 free on satellite (and since November, FIVE too!) , just what is it that’s keeping you from ditching terrestrial telly completely?

With Digital Switchover coming our way (it’s already started don’t you know, up in the Scottish Borders) many folks will have to upgrade their rooftop aerial to receive terrestrial Freeview, and even then full reception is far from guaranteed. What’s more, you may be quite shocked at the sheer size of some of these modern terrestrial antennae!

Take a moment or two to actually think about how much more discrete a satellite minidish might be. Also, they often don’t have to be as high (and exposed to the wind) as a typical terrestrial aerial. Dishes do require a perfectly clear line of site into southern sky though, so that might be a deciding factor for you.

Satellite has had a pretty raw deal in the UK thus far. We tend to like our TV to be free and come with no strings attached, because we already pay for a TV license.

Sure, nearly ten million customers subscribe to Sky, because they want extra channels, like sports and movies, but satellite TV and Sky TV have become synonymous to many of us. With the advent of Freesat however, that perception will gradually change - and it’s long overdue.

So why not hang up your reservations and take a fresh look at satellite TV.

Below is a handy comparison of which channels can be had on terrestrial only, and which on satellite only.

It might not be totally accurate, and the picture does tend to change gradually over time of course, but it’s a pretty fair snapshot of the situation right now.

Don’t forget, the ‘free’ satellite package is called Freesat, and the free terrestrial package is Freeview.

December 6th, 2008 by BGonaSTICK

A lorryload of Humax PVRs set to fill many a stocking later this month has be nicked from a lay-by in Northampton.

Humax have released the following statement:

Humax has confirmed that a shipment of FOXSAT-HDR Freesat+ boxes was stolen at the weekend, upon their arrival in the UK on 30th November. The matter is already under investigation by the police, who are looking to track the stolen goods via individual serial numbers which have been recorded by Humax.

Humax is urging any retailers who are offered quantities of the FOXSAT-HDR from unknown sources or under suspicious circumstances to notify Humax head office immediately, by calling 020 8326 6000. The theft will temporarily impact the supply of FOXSAT-HDR boxes to retailers across the UK, however additional shipments are due later this week.

Bummer 

December 5th, 2008 by BGonaSTICK

In this brand new feature at Satscene, we’re highlighting the fact that we do occasionally watch telly as opposed to just ripping the piss out of it.

This is the first in a series of more than one featured TV programmes, all of which will be reviewed perfectly seriously by the team, with no smirking, giggling or mickey-taking. We will be throwing the full weight of our journalistic talents at this and holding nothing back.

Or we might just revert to type and attempt to find humour in things which don’t rightly justify it.

In issue one, we feature Brainiac, that institution of academic wastelandiness.

Here you will be ‘entertained and amused’ by that Richard Hammond berk who keeps crashing cars and blowing up caravans, plus the increasingly aggravating Jon Tickle (from Big Brother 4). Boy to I want to smack him in the kisser!

Let’s get right down to it. It’s a lads mag pretending to be educational.

It also pretends to be entertaining, but fails miserably. It has one redeeming feature though. The Brainiac ladettes. Nothing more to say about them other than - check the pics!

So just to recap then, that’s tits, bums and exploding caravans.

All quite embarrassing really. People have been up in arms in recent years at the blatant sexism in the Benny Hill show for example, and here we are re-inventing it all in the name of science.

Fantastic, I say! Now if we could just get rid of the science bit. And the Hammond/Tickle dudes. Maybe the opening titles and ending credits while we’re about it.

And whilst I’m up for an explosion or two, the repeated destruction of otherwise perfectly useable mobile homes does get a little tiresome, so let’s ditch that. It adds nothing to an otherwise winning formula if you ask me.

Right, looking better after our minor improvements, I reckon.

December 5th, 2008 by RocketMBA

The fantastically named HOLIDAY SAT-GOLD SHOP over on 12.5w shows some great adverts at night, usually for the most mundane products. Tonight, it was the turn of a washing power to get the insanity treatment, with the highlight of the night being the comparison of trousers after a man wet himself, and after his trousers had been washed.

Brilliant.

December 1st, 2008 by RocketMBA

 What can I say? During 4Music’s slightly brilliant It’s a 90s Christmas, I spotted H from Steps being attacked with axes by midgets in armour. It’s the original Christmas story!

December 1st, 2008 by BGonaSTICK

Arthur C Clarke would turn in his grave…

http://www.sectoo.org/news/satellite-frequency-tv-channel-list-and-digital

We have awarded that classic blog entry our coveted SatScene triple-shit-bugle award!